my mantra

live with intention.

walk to the edge.

listen hard.

practice wellness.

play with abandon.

laugh.

choose with no regret.

continue to learn.

appreciate your friends.

do what you love.

live as if this is all there is.

- mary anne radmacher

the creamy filling

i have this "thing" called "my oreo cookie". it's not a real cookie, but a concept that i have adopted about the immediate girls/women in my life - my mother and my daughters. when i photograph weddings, i love to do generational pictures. nothing speaks to me more about the longevity of a family than seeing multiple generations together. i had been part of my own oreo cookie, for about 18 years. then after my mother passed away, i had my own daughters, and my dearest wish was to be the creamy filling. i am, after all, a motherless mother - one who has to face the struggles of parenthood without the guidance that only a mother can provide. for some people, this "cookie" may seem like a silly concept, but for me, it was something i longed for that i had finally resigned myself to never having...until 2 weeks ago.

i returned home for a quick visit and shortly before my arrival it had dawned on me that there was one special woman who has always been my cookie - my grandmother (mommy's mom). she'd been there all along, but i was so consumed thinking about my mother's absence that i had failed to see her there. she's almost 100 now and unable to participate in daily activities. but every time i go home, she's there for a few minutes, enough to remember me and to greet me with a smile. so with my younger daughter by my side, i asked my husband to take a photo of my oreo cookie.

sometimes when you don't have all the ingredients in your recipe, you just gotta improvise.