the creamy filling

i have this "thing" called "my oreo cookie". it's not a real cookie, but a concept that i have adopted about the immediate girls/women in my life - my mother and my daughters. when i photograph weddings, i love to do generational pictures. nothing speaks to me more about the longevity of a family than seeing multiple generations together. i had been part of my own oreo cookie, for about 18 years. then after my mother passed away, i had my own daughters, and my dearest wish was to be the creamy filling. i am, after all, a motherless mother - one who has to face the struggles of parenthood without the guidance that only a mother can provide. for some people, this "cookie" may seem like a silly concept, but for me, it was something i longed for that i had finally resigned myself to never having...until 2 weeks ago.

i returned home for a quick visit and shortly before my arrival it had dawned on me that there was one special woman who has always been my cookie - my grandmother (mommy's mom). she'd been there all along, but i was so consumed thinking about my mother's absence that i had failed to see her there. she's almost 100 now and unable to participate in daily activities. but every time i go home, she's there for a few minutes, enough to remember me and to greet me with a smile. so with my younger daughter by my side, i asked my husband to take a photo of my oreo cookie.

sometimes when you don't have all the ingredients in your recipe, you just gotta improvise.