homebody - week 1

well, it's been a week since i got laid off from my job. no tears here, but i am still trying to get things sorted out at home, trying to find a schedule for myself and making the most of the extra time i've been given.

i'm not one of those born-to-be-a-stay-at-home-mom moms. in a way i wish i was because then all of this would come relatively easy to me. i've been working in the office environment since i was 19 years old and that's what i'm used to. i've gotten really used to the structure of office living that i think the only way for me to survive is to duplicate that structure here at home.

i've been very careful to not sit in front of the tv or the computer for all hours of the day, unless there's a definite reason for me to be on there. i'm trying to get my business started, and a great deal of it requires the computer, so that explains my presence online the last few days. i think the biggest thing that distracts me is that i keep thinking about taking a quick vacation. fares are so cheap and i've got nothing but time on my hands.

maybe it's time for me to update some programs on my computer and get the schedule laid out. i'll let you know how it goes.

how to save a life

i donated blood today!

most people would probably take this for granted or not even give it a second thought, but it's been on my brain for 21 years. when my mother died of leukemia, i wanted to donate blood as a way of repaying those who selflessly gave their blood to her.

i'm not a tall woman, or a heavy woman, but i am now a healthy one. for all these years, i was denied the ability to give blood because i was "too little" or "not heavy enough". well, there was finally a benefit to putting on a few pounds because today they couldn't deny me anymore.

i lay down and just breathed in every moment of my experience. i've crossed off another item on my life's "to do" list. my heart is full. :)

and you know what else? i was inspiring enough for my husband that he donated again today too!

my mantra

live with intention.

walk to the edge.

listen hard.

practice wellness.

play with abandon.

laugh.

choose with no regret.

continue to learn.

appreciate your friends.

do what you love.

live as if this is all there is.

- mary anne radmacher

things i learned in 2008

i started making this annual list 6 years ago, after my sister introduced me to the concept. here are the "things i learned in 2008"

1. i still love my car.
2. i'm glad i'm a realist. it makes things easier to swallow when your teenager tells a colourful story.
3. recovering from an illness takes discipline.
4. i love those moments that take my breath away.
5. i love a good party.
6. change sometimes happens overnight, when you least expect it. and it sort of makes it easier to accept.
7. i am in awe, when after a 20 year absence, people who you thought didn't think twice about you can still recall the small details about your life.
8. my littlest sister is an amazing human being. i want to be her when i grow up.
9. i can still pull off big surprises.
10. i finally appreciate the science of chemistry.
11. plans are easy - executing them is hard.
12. it's bizarre how people can travel in parallel lines for many years yet never meet until the time is right.
13. it feels good when my children teach me something new.
14. it's always nice to be appreciated.

the beautiful song of this treeh's leaves

tomorrow my littlest sister is running her first marathon for the leukemia & lymphoma society of canada. this one is for many people, but especially honours our mother who died from leukemia 20 years ago (back when the little one was just 5). i am so proud of her, you have no idea. this tiny creature - all 4 feet 8.5 inches of her - is my hero.

this is not her first charity event. in recent years, she has donated her hair, she has shaven her head, baked cookies, walked & ran other charity walks - all in an effort to raise money for various diseases. when i think of all she has accomplished and all she is setting out to do in the name of others, i am left speechless and filled with tears. she won't be able to hear me cheering loudly on the streets she's running down, but she knows i will be there in spirit.

please check out her blog at the link to the right titled "tracking treeh"

in search of change

i had an epiphany earlier this week - i need a change in my life. i need to simplify things, or at least properly juggle all the things on my plate. the last year has been a struggle, what with past health issues running the show. but it's time for me to lay down the tracks of my life with me steering my own course.

i laid out a plan for myself last february, but told only a few people, so there was little accountability on my part and of course, resulted in little action. perhaps now, with a clear vision and having put it out in the universe (or at least the web), i'm more likely to stay on track.

so, i'm actively looking for a job change and going back to school. i know it sounds like it's not simplifying, but really it is...

...you'll just have to trust me on this one.